Another Delivery Fail

Well...once again, no baby.  No water breaking (and they aren't breaking it for me), and at last check it appears as though I might have gone backwards.  Who knows though...difference of opinion depending on the person doing the evaluation.

So waiting around in the delivery room, I did get to eat (and that was good), then I sat some more and Dr. Mercer came in.  Well, on cervical check, she reported that the baby was at -1 or -2 (wha?  she's going back up?!) and she downgraded to 5-6cm.

One complicating factor (other than she's only 35 weeks today), is that the NICU here is full.  Not that we'd "need" it, but they don't want to risk delivery and her needing it, and having to transfer baby somewhere else.  On the bright side, at least I only spent a handful of hours in L&D before going back to antepartum (and actually the same room that I was in this morning and yesterday!).

I'm really just getting kind of disconnected from the process and a bit despondent.  My hormones are going nuts all over the place, and anytime I get certain thoughts into my head, the tears start streaming (and I don't want it to happen...it just does!).  I can go from being happy or in an even mood to just losing it, and there's no good reason why.  I hate it, too, because it makes me totally unable to speak sometimes.  The nurse this morning was asking about medication that I had taken in the past and what I needed while in the hospital.  She saw the history of PPD in there (and they ask all the time), and so I asked her about starting Zoloft again before delivery (the doctor had suggested I start taking it before delivery when I was pregnant with Jared, and was glad I had prescription in hand for when I needed it...and I definitely needed it before delivery even...).  The nurse was going to ask the doctor about it so they could start giving it to me.  I asked the new nurse in antepartum when I got back about it...and she said she'd look too, but as I was asking I was crying.  And there was seriously nothing to cry about!

As of this evening...things are as they are.  During the evening monitoring, I was having contractions again (you don't say?)...and when I asked the nurse, she just mentioned that it was "alot...like one every few minutes".  No one wants to jump the gun, so just waiting to see if they go away or they get more painful.  Hopefully the universe gives me a sign!

Well, in any case...it looks like this little lady is going to bake a little bit longer...so happy 35 weeks!