Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Conflicting Emotions...Happiness & Sadness in One

The title of the post is a bit misleading, since it really isn't about whether I'm happy or sad right this moment (FWIW, I'm pretty even right now...mostly leaning towards the happier side).  Anyway, what I wanted to go back to is some things having to do with work.

Tomorrow I am looking forward to with excitement and dread.  Happiness and sadness all in one.  Shit, if I'm not careful, I'm going to start welling up with tears while writing this.  It's nothing super huge, but Kaitlyn and I are making the trip out for lunch with my now former co-workers.  I'll probably hit up my soon-to-be former place of employment as well.

As a bit of a back story, I was supposed to go out to lunch with everyone the very day that Kaitlyn was born.  Monica had set up the lunch under the mask of "Amy is term!  She can get out of the house!"...when in fact it was just using me as an excuse for another reason.  She'd even joked that I had better not have the baby by then...I guess that was jinxed!  In any case, some of the crew came over for that lunch (instead of going out...ha!) while I was in labor, which I think at that point I was more than willing to give up my bowl of Broccoli Cheese soup at Corner Bakery for that afternoon.

So the happiness part comes from seeing all of them again, and introducing my former belly-dweller to everyone.

The sadness part comes with the bittersweet flavor of seeing everyone again.  I haven't been to work since June 5th...the day I worked half a day, met with HR, and ended up going to the doctor with contractions, leading to being admitted to the hospital for pre-term labor.  I have seen everyone on a few occasions, but sadly each time since then I've been a patient in the hospital.  Since then, as well, Cathie and my boss, Heather, have left where I work.  I'm next, and that's very upsetting (I know that the inevitable has just been put off while I'm out on leave).  I'm not angry that it's me, personally, but more that my whole (work) world has been blown to smithereens.  The other bit of sadness comes from others soon to be leaving, like the division head.  The place where I worked is looking very different from what I remember, and I'm kind of afraid to see it in person.  I know it's going to be worse when it's time for me to go "back" for a few days before my final departure :(.

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