Wow...I actually did an entry the next day after the previous one! I'm on a roll! If I do it again tomorrow, this might be the start of another trend (wishful thinking!).
So it's been a week since I was admitted to the hospital for a night, testing out new drugs to see if they stopped contractions for me. Luckily, it was only an overnight stay. Since bedrest in general began five weeks ago, tomorrow, there's been ups and downs and changes. Some major changes, some little.
Anyway, today officially marks the day that my parents moved out of state. Yep, boarded a plane, and flew 1200 miles away. I keep and kept telling myself that I wouldn't get worked up over it, but inevitably, anytime I think about it, or talk about it, it brings me to tears. I can blame the pregnancy hormones for that, right? In trying to rationalize what's going on in my head, I got the insight from my mom about how this feeling sort of works. Most of this is in a blog post from this past weekend.
So my parents moving away is sort of like how my mom felt when I moved away to college. It wasn't like I was going away forever or anything of that sort...but just that nagging feeling of what-if-I-need-that-person. I know I can easily pick up the phone and just call (although, they just have cell phones right now that are turned off 95% of the time...that might change though), but now is the time I wish I had the security of knowing that my parents would be there to take care of Daniel and Jared, should something happen and I go into labor at a weird time. That's what it boils down to right now. Having my parents take care of Daniel while I was in the hospital having Jared was one thing I didn't even stress about...I felt better that Mike could stay with me at the hospital, I felt better that Daniel was being taken care of and having fun and all of that stuff. If my parents hadn't moved until, say, September or October, I might be in a different state of mind.
Moving on to childcare...yeah...that's bothering me once again, even though I go back and forth with how I feel about all of the different scenarios. I grew to expect Mike to be with me at night in the hospital, and I keep telling myself that I'd be OK if he wasn't there overnight when the baby comes. But there really is not a good scenario where that is a possibility. I feel OK with it, in passing, because I've spent one night in the hospital alone already...but when the baby comes, it's a different scenario.
In any case, I'm finding that the "big" things that I'm stressing about are somehow interconnected, and it's hard not to dwell on one without dwelling on the others. As I've mentioned before, I like to have a plan...I like to have the security in place, knowing what to expect, what's going to happen, and everything like that. Even if, at this point, if I knew that I was going to have a baby a little early, at least I'd be able to prepare for that, just like I would prepare for a trip somewhere. Maybe the universe will send me a sign... :)
Friday, July 12, 2013
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Bedrest Part 2 - Days 3 through 6
Well, once again I find myself landing in slacker-ville and not posting a daily entry (it's a four-in-one now!). The reasons are many, but include just being tired (always a good excuse, right?), Daniel's birthday (I wrote a post for him :) ), and being just out of sorts with the pregnancy hormones and all sorts of things going on around me.
Anyway, here goes!
Monday I can't say was too terribly eventful. Unless it was eventful, and I just forgot. In any case, Mike was home with me, the boys went to daycare, and that was that.
Tuesday was Daniel's birthday! It was kind of fun convincing him that he was now FIVE (instead of four!), and he got to open a few more presents from Grandma and Grandpa Stone. Part of me was a bit afraid that something dramatic could happen, and the baby could share a birthday with Daniel, but as the day went on, we were pretty confident that there would be no sharing of birthdays!
It was also a bit of a disheartening day, as one of the jobs that I would have loved to have worked at...I basically got shot down after their interview request (they asked if I could come for an interview, I told them about my status, and got shot down). I know I should have expected it...as I keep saying, as much as everyone thinks that it isn't a big deal to try and find a job while pregnant...it is. No one wants to hire a pregnant lady, even if they "say" that being pregnant bears no weight on their hiring practices/decisions.
Wednesday was doctor's appointment day! I was a little bit disappointed (or rather, maybe, not as enthused by it) for a few reasons. One was that since I'm off ibuprofen, I don't get the weekly ultrasounds. I think both me and Mike looked forward to that, our little bonus or reward for hanging in there and coming every week. Also sort of miss socializing with the ultrasound tech, but oh well. The other thing that was kind of lacked enthusiasm was the appointment in general. By that time in the morning, things were running kind of late, and I think the doctor was a bit rushed (he usually isn't...and doesn't talk so fast!). I got the impression that there was no mention of the last hospital stay, and he kind of acted like business as usual (just another checkup!). No cervix check, no repeat fFN test...the baby's heartbeat is just fine, but it's been fine all along, that's not putting me any more at ease. Even with scheduling the next few weeks worth of visits...I wasn't really feeling all that enthusiastic. I thrive on familiarity sometimes, and apparently things were so booked up that I got stuck with whoever...people I've never met before or even heard of. The more of that that goes on, the more I feel like I could easily get lost in the system, especially if no one takes the time to read what's going on in my chart.
Well, enough about the appointment. The next task on the list was to go and check out the 24/7 daycare that my mom told us about. I had looked at the webpage, I knew where it was (across the street from my high school!) and all of that. So Mike and I drive over there after the doctor's appointment (since we were already out) and the first thing he mentions is that the van looks kind of creepy. Yeah, OK, not as nice as the transportation that our regular daycare has and uses, but it's not like they're going to be driving the kids around. Playground outside looks pretty decent, so that was a good sign. Then we go inside. The layout is WAY different than what we're used to at daycares, with a lot more open rooms, having more "communal" bathrooms and all of that.
We asked how their drop in policy worked, and the lady there assured us that it would PROBABLY fit our situation (we'd need it if I went into labor in the middle of the night, and needed to drop the boys off somewhere). She mentioned that without 48 hours notice (wha?) that we'd have to pre-pay when we thought the time was close. I have no problem with the pre-pay, but I just didn't get an overly awesome vibe from that place. So we took a registration packet anyway and left.
After talking about it a little more (because, honestly, this is one thing that is really rattling me a lot about going into labor...or even going into labor and not having the baby right away), we kind of figured out a tentative plan for things. I think I'm good even with, at worst case, having to take the boys to the hospital in the middle of the night. Ideally, what I'd love is to have a nanny service in place, so that I could call and they could come over within the hour and stay with the kids. I'm still looking...but I'm feeling better about our plan B's...and C's...maybe D's too.
Last night was a bit rough for sleep and everything along those lines. Baby was moving a LOT when I tried to sleep (and seemingly like a long duration of time). Mike was up working half the night. My lower back, again, was killing me. In the evening, before I took the nifedipine (since it's "as needed", I waited until the previous dose had cleared out, just to see...and...well...that's not a good idea. I had contractions as close as 8 minutes, lasting about 45 seconds).
So now to today! Today is the 33 week mark! Which means I need to add the obligatory ticker! This morning greeted me with a little intestinal disturbance...I was warned that nifedipine couled cause constipation, so I've been making sure I drank extra water, ate some prunes, took the occasional stool softener. Apparently that might have worked a little TOO well. As a weird side effect (maybe?), I was also leaking some kind of fluid. My mucus plug appears to be long since gone (haven't had a chunk or anything resembling since last week, right before the hospital stay). I didn't think it was my water breaking (I have first hand experience with water breaking at home...), but called the doctor's office and they had me come in anyway.
At least it was just the doctor's office visit! It wasn't amniotic fluid, and the sac appears to be still intact, so all of that was a relief. The fluid had kind of a weird in between pH (from what I heard the nurse practitioner say, amniotic fluid turns the paper purple, urine/normal secretions make it stay more of a yellow). The paper turned kind of a blue green though...so she had to double check by drying it on a slide, and that came back just fine. I did get a prescription for something else (I'd rather not say, but it's another unfortunate pregnancy side effect), and she mentioned that there was a culture going out for something else, but didn't say what (infection maybe?).
And hereeeeee's the tickers...
Anyway, here goes!
Monday I can't say was too terribly eventful. Unless it was eventful, and I just forgot. In any case, Mike was home with me, the boys went to daycare, and that was that.
Tuesday was Daniel's birthday! It was kind of fun convincing him that he was now FIVE (instead of four!), and he got to open a few more presents from Grandma and Grandpa Stone. Part of me was a bit afraid that something dramatic could happen, and the baby could share a birthday with Daniel, but as the day went on, we were pretty confident that there would be no sharing of birthdays!
It was also a bit of a disheartening day, as one of the jobs that I would have loved to have worked at...I basically got shot down after their interview request (they asked if I could come for an interview, I told them about my status, and got shot down). I know I should have expected it...as I keep saying, as much as everyone thinks that it isn't a big deal to try and find a job while pregnant...it is. No one wants to hire a pregnant lady, even if they "say" that being pregnant bears no weight on their hiring practices/decisions.
Wednesday was doctor's appointment day! I was a little bit disappointed (or rather, maybe, not as enthused by it) for a few reasons. One was that since I'm off ibuprofen, I don't get the weekly ultrasounds. I think both me and Mike looked forward to that, our little bonus or reward for hanging in there and coming every week. Also sort of miss socializing with the ultrasound tech, but oh well. The other thing that was kind of lacked enthusiasm was the appointment in general. By that time in the morning, things were running kind of late, and I think the doctor was a bit rushed (he usually isn't...and doesn't talk so fast!). I got the impression that there was no mention of the last hospital stay, and he kind of acted like business as usual (just another checkup!). No cervix check, no repeat fFN test...the baby's heartbeat is just fine, but it's been fine all along, that's not putting me any more at ease. Even with scheduling the next few weeks worth of visits...I wasn't really feeling all that enthusiastic. I thrive on familiarity sometimes, and apparently things were so booked up that I got stuck with whoever...people I've never met before or even heard of. The more of that that goes on, the more I feel like I could easily get lost in the system, especially if no one takes the time to read what's going on in my chart.
Well, enough about the appointment. The next task on the list was to go and check out the 24/7 daycare that my mom told us about. I had looked at the webpage, I knew where it was (across the street from my high school!) and all of that. So Mike and I drive over there after the doctor's appointment (since we were already out) and the first thing he mentions is that the van looks kind of creepy. Yeah, OK, not as nice as the transportation that our regular daycare has and uses, but it's not like they're going to be driving the kids around. Playground outside looks pretty decent, so that was a good sign. Then we go inside. The layout is WAY different than what we're used to at daycares, with a lot more open rooms, having more "communal" bathrooms and all of that.
We asked how their drop in policy worked, and the lady there assured us that it would PROBABLY fit our situation (we'd need it if I went into labor in the middle of the night, and needed to drop the boys off somewhere). She mentioned that without 48 hours notice (wha?) that we'd have to pre-pay when we thought the time was close. I have no problem with the pre-pay, but I just didn't get an overly awesome vibe from that place. So we took a registration packet anyway and left.
After talking about it a little more (because, honestly, this is one thing that is really rattling me a lot about going into labor...or even going into labor and not having the baby right away), we kind of figured out a tentative plan for things. I think I'm good even with, at worst case, having to take the boys to the hospital in the middle of the night. Ideally, what I'd love is to have a nanny service in place, so that I could call and they could come over within the hour and stay with the kids. I'm still looking...but I'm feeling better about our plan B's...and C's...maybe D's too.
Last night was a bit rough for sleep and everything along those lines. Baby was moving a LOT when I tried to sleep (and seemingly like a long duration of time). Mike was up working half the night. My lower back, again, was killing me. In the evening, before I took the nifedipine (since it's "as needed", I waited until the previous dose had cleared out, just to see...and...well...that's not a good idea. I had contractions as close as 8 minutes, lasting about 45 seconds).
So now to today! Today is the 33 week mark! Which means I need to add the obligatory ticker! This morning greeted me with a little intestinal disturbance...I was warned that nifedipine couled cause constipation, so I've been making sure I drank extra water, ate some prunes, took the occasional stool softener. Apparently that might have worked a little TOO well. As a weird side effect (maybe?), I was also leaking some kind of fluid. My mucus plug appears to be long since gone (haven't had a chunk or anything resembling since last week, right before the hospital stay). I didn't think it was my water breaking (I have first hand experience with water breaking at home...), but called the doctor's office and they had me come in anyway.
At least it was just the doctor's office visit! It wasn't amniotic fluid, and the sac appears to be still intact, so all of that was a relief. The fluid had kind of a weird in between pH (from what I heard the nurse practitioner say, amniotic fluid turns the paper purple, urine/normal secretions make it stay more of a yellow). The paper turned kind of a blue green though...so she had to double check by drying it on a slide, and that came back just fine. I did get a prescription for something else (I'd rather not say, but it's another unfortunate pregnancy side effect), and she mentioned that there was a culture going out for something else, but didn't say what (infection maybe?).
And hereeeeee's the tickers...
Sunday, July 07, 2013
Bedrest Part 2 - Days 1 and 2
I was just going back and forth about whether I should keep counting the days at home on bedrest starting where I left off, or just starting again. So...starting again it is!
In any case, it's been 4 weeks and 4 days (32 days!) since everything "started" with the first hospital stay. 2 admissions to the hospital. 4 nights spent in the hospital. 28 nights home on bedrest, tonight being night number 29. Sure...that math adds up somehow. Just putting it into perspective for myself, I guess.
So the doctor made good on the promise that I'd only spend that one night in the hospital (Friday night), and be discharged Saturday morning. With Mike being gone, and just having a bit more noise and whatnot going on around my room, I didn't sleep really that well. I watched a little bit of TV on Netflix, then decided I was too tired for a second episode, so I tried to sleep a little after midnight. Around 1:30am I was due for the next dose of nifedipine, and I had gotten up and unplugged myself from the contraction monitor around that time so I could use the bathroom. The nurses did the vital check and blood pressure stuff, so I was a little more awake than I would have liked to be at that time of the night. My blood pressure was close to the 90/60 cutoff (still low), but it was close enough that the nurses still gave it to me rather than waking me up in another half hour to try again.
After that, I slept until around 4, and, again, vitals checked, bathroom break, etc. Finally, I was able to sleep from about 4 until I noticed the sun come up, and I was dozing from then until around 7:45. Nurses came in again followed by Dr. Mayer. Contractions slowed to 2 an hour overnight on nifedipine, and I was still at 4cm (which, no cervical change was the real goal there). Dr. Mayer ordered an NST to check on the baby, and after breakfast, that was started. The NST went well...I think even better than 4 weeks earlier, and I could hear the accelerations in heartbeat from time to time.
It ended up to be perfect timing for Mike and the boys to show up to take me home. Armed with a nifedipine prescription (on an as-needed basis...due to my blood pressure being so wonky!), we got to go around 11am. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, but I slept like a rock that night!
Moving on to today. My parents were set to come over today to drop off some food items that they're clearing out before the last part of the move. It's also Daniel's birthday on Tuesday, so I made a cake last night and finished decorating it this morning.
My parents came about 3:30 or so, and did the usual visiting stuff. There were probably a handful of times that I held back tears thinking of them being gone as of this coming Friday (just my mom mentioning certain things...I couldn't tell you what set me off). We did Daniel's birthday cake and presents and before I knew it, it was time to say our goodbyes to my parents.
I really...and I mean REALLY tried hard not to lose it, but of course I did. So there's my mom and I both sobbing...and just not being able to get words out (losing physical ability to talk! ahh!). In any case, I try to rationalize why I am having such a hard time with this, but I really can't. If I think about it too much, it makes me just start tearing up even more. I've been out of my parents house since I was 18 (give or take...spent one full summer at home with my parents in college, and visited on holidays and stuff), lived 2 hours away in a different city for several years and moved to a different state 1000 miles away for another 5 years before moving near them again. Even then, it wasn't like I was seeing them every day or every week (or even sometimes every month). And even with the possibility of us moving again to somewhere completely different is there...but THEM picking up and moving so far away has really gotten to me. My mom was reminiscing about dropping me off at college, and going through the same kind of thing.
In the end...I know we all travel well, and we'll be seeing them soon. It still just makes me wish that they weren't moving...at least not now.
So that rounds out the weekend! The kids sacked out pretty hard (Jared too, he who did not nap today!), and I'm ready for another week to begin!
In any case, it's been 4 weeks and 4 days (32 days!) since everything "started" with the first hospital stay. 2 admissions to the hospital. 4 nights spent in the hospital. 28 nights home on bedrest, tonight being night number 29. Sure...that math adds up somehow. Just putting it into perspective for myself, I guess.
So the doctor made good on the promise that I'd only spend that one night in the hospital (Friday night), and be discharged Saturday morning. With Mike being gone, and just having a bit more noise and whatnot going on around my room, I didn't sleep really that well. I watched a little bit of TV on Netflix, then decided I was too tired for a second episode, so I tried to sleep a little after midnight. Around 1:30am I was due for the next dose of nifedipine, and I had gotten up and unplugged myself from the contraction monitor around that time so I could use the bathroom. The nurses did the vital check and blood pressure stuff, so I was a little more awake than I would have liked to be at that time of the night. My blood pressure was close to the 90/60 cutoff (still low), but it was close enough that the nurses still gave it to me rather than waking me up in another half hour to try again.
After that, I slept until around 4, and, again, vitals checked, bathroom break, etc. Finally, I was able to sleep from about 4 until I noticed the sun come up, and I was dozing from then until around 7:45. Nurses came in again followed by Dr. Mayer. Contractions slowed to 2 an hour overnight on nifedipine, and I was still at 4cm (which, no cervical change was the real goal there). Dr. Mayer ordered an NST to check on the baby, and after breakfast, that was started. The NST went well...I think even better than 4 weeks earlier, and I could hear the accelerations in heartbeat from time to time.
It ended up to be perfect timing for Mike and the boys to show up to take me home. Armed with a nifedipine prescription (on an as-needed basis...due to my blood pressure being so wonky!), we got to go around 11am. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, but I slept like a rock that night!
Moving on to today. My parents were set to come over today to drop off some food items that they're clearing out before the last part of the move. It's also Daniel's birthday on Tuesday, so I made a cake last night and finished decorating it this morning.
My parents came about 3:30 or so, and did the usual visiting stuff. There were probably a handful of times that I held back tears thinking of them being gone as of this coming Friday (just my mom mentioning certain things...I couldn't tell you what set me off). We did Daniel's birthday cake and presents and before I knew it, it was time to say our goodbyes to my parents.
I really...and I mean REALLY tried hard not to lose it, but of course I did. So there's my mom and I both sobbing...and just not being able to get words out (losing physical ability to talk! ahh!). In any case, I try to rationalize why I am having such a hard time with this, but I really can't. If I think about it too much, it makes me just start tearing up even more. I've been out of my parents house since I was 18 (give or take...spent one full summer at home with my parents in college, and visited on holidays and stuff), lived 2 hours away in a different city for several years and moved to a different state 1000 miles away for another 5 years before moving near them again. Even then, it wasn't like I was seeing them every day or every week (or even sometimes every month). And even with the possibility of us moving again to somewhere completely different is there...but THEM picking up and moving so far away has really gotten to me. My mom was reminiscing about dropping me off at college, and going through the same kind of thing.
In the end...I know we all travel well, and we'll be seeing them soon. It still just makes me wish that they weren't moving...at least not now.
So that rounds out the weekend! The kids sacked out pretty hard (Jared too, he who did not nap today!), and I'm ready for another week to begin!
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