Wow...I actually did an entry the next day after the previous one! I'm on a roll! If I do it again tomorrow, this might be the start of another trend (wishful thinking!).
So it's been a week since I was admitted to the hospital for a night, testing out new drugs to see if they stopped contractions for me. Luckily, it was only an overnight stay. Since bedrest in general began five weeks ago, tomorrow, there's been ups and downs and changes. Some major changes, some little.
Anyway, today officially marks the day that my parents moved out of state. Yep, boarded a plane, and flew 1200 miles away. I keep and kept telling myself that I wouldn't get worked up over it, but inevitably, anytime I think about it, or talk about it, it brings me to tears. I can blame the pregnancy hormones for that, right? In trying to rationalize what's going on in my head, I got the insight from my mom about how this feeling sort of works. Most of this is in a blog post from this past weekend.
So my parents moving away is sort of like how my mom felt when I moved away to college. It wasn't like I was going away forever or anything of that sort...but just that nagging feeling of what-if-I-need-that-person. I know I can easily pick up the phone and just call (although, they just have cell phones right now that are turned off 95% of the time...that might change though), but now is the time I wish I had the security of knowing that my parents would be there to take care of Daniel and Jared, should something happen and I go into labor at a weird time. That's what it boils down to right now. Having my parents take care of Daniel while I was in the hospital having Jared was one thing I didn't even stress about...I felt better that Mike could stay with me at the hospital, I felt better that Daniel was being taken care of and having fun and all of that stuff. If my parents hadn't moved until, say, September or October, I might be in a different state of mind.
Moving on to childcare...yeah...that's bothering me once again, even though I go back and forth with how I feel about all of the different scenarios. I grew to expect Mike to be with me at night in the hospital, and I keep telling myself that I'd be OK if he wasn't there overnight when the baby comes. But there really is not a good scenario where that is a possibility. I feel OK with it, in passing, because I've spent one night in the hospital alone already...but when the baby comes, it's a different scenario.
In any case, I'm finding that the "big" things that I'm stressing about are somehow interconnected, and it's hard not to dwell on one without dwelling on the others. As I've mentioned before, I like to have a plan...I like to have the security in place, knowing what to expect, what's going to happen, and everything like that. Even if, at this point, if I knew that I was going to have a baby a little early, at least I'd be able to prepare for that, just like I would prepare for a trip somewhere. Maybe the universe will send me a sign... :)
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parents. Show all posts
Friday, July 12, 2013
Sunday, July 07, 2013
Bedrest Part 2 - Days 1 and 2
I was just going back and forth about whether I should keep counting the days at home on bedrest starting where I left off, or just starting again. So...starting again it is!
In any case, it's been 4 weeks and 4 days (32 days!) since everything "started" with the first hospital stay. 2 admissions to the hospital. 4 nights spent in the hospital. 28 nights home on bedrest, tonight being night number 29. Sure...that math adds up somehow. Just putting it into perspective for myself, I guess.
So the doctor made good on the promise that I'd only spend that one night in the hospital (Friday night), and be discharged Saturday morning. With Mike being gone, and just having a bit more noise and whatnot going on around my room, I didn't sleep really that well. I watched a little bit of TV on Netflix, then decided I was too tired for a second episode, so I tried to sleep a little after midnight. Around 1:30am I was due for the next dose of nifedipine, and I had gotten up and unplugged myself from the contraction monitor around that time so I could use the bathroom. The nurses did the vital check and blood pressure stuff, so I was a little more awake than I would have liked to be at that time of the night. My blood pressure was close to the 90/60 cutoff (still low), but it was close enough that the nurses still gave it to me rather than waking me up in another half hour to try again.
After that, I slept until around 4, and, again, vitals checked, bathroom break, etc. Finally, I was able to sleep from about 4 until I noticed the sun come up, and I was dozing from then until around 7:45. Nurses came in again followed by Dr. Mayer. Contractions slowed to 2 an hour overnight on nifedipine, and I was still at 4cm (which, no cervical change was the real goal there). Dr. Mayer ordered an NST to check on the baby, and after breakfast, that was started. The NST went well...I think even better than 4 weeks earlier, and I could hear the accelerations in heartbeat from time to time.
It ended up to be perfect timing for Mike and the boys to show up to take me home. Armed with a nifedipine prescription (on an as-needed basis...due to my blood pressure being so wonky!), we got to go around 11am. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, but I slept like a rock that night!
Moving on to today. My parents were set to come over today to drop off some food items that they're clearing out before the last part of the move. It's also Daniel's birthday on Tuesday, so I made a cake last night and finished decorating it this morning.
My parents came about 3:30 or so, and did the usual visiting stuff. There were probably a handful of times that I held back tears thinking of them being gone as of this coming Friday (just my mom mentioning certain things...I couldn't tell you what set me off). We did Daniel's birthday cake and presents and before I knew it, it was time to say our goodbyes to my parents.
I really...and I mean REALLY tried hard not to lose it, but of course I did. So there's my mom and I both sobbing...and just not being able to get words out (losing physical ability to talk! ahh!). In any case, I try to rationalize why I am having such a hard time with this, but I really can't. If I think about it too much, it makes me just start tearing up even more. I've been out of my parents house since I was 18 (give or take...spent one full summer at home with my parents in college, and visited on holidays and stuff), lived 2 hours away in a different city for several years and moved to a different state 1000 miles away for another 5 years before moving near them again. Even then, it wasn't like I was seeing them every day or every week (or even sometimes every month). And even with the possibility of us moving again to somewhere completely different is there...but THEM picking up and moving so far away has really gotten to me. My mom was reminiscing about dropping me off at college, and going through the same kind of thing.
In the end...I know we all travel well, and we'll be seeing them soon. It still just makes me wish that they weren't moving...at least not now.
So that rounds out the weekend! The kids sacked out pretty hard (Jared too, he who did not nap today!), and I'm ready for another week to begin!
In any case, it's been 4 weeks and 4 days (32 days!) since everything "started" with the first hospital stay. 2 admissions to the hospital. 4 nights spent in the hospital. 28 nights home on bedrest, tonight being night number 29. Sure...that math adds up somehow. Just putting it into perspective for myself, I guess.
So the doctor made good on the promise that I'd only spend that one night in the hospital (Friday night), and be discharged Saturday morning. With Mike being gone, and just having a bit more noise and whatnot going on around my room, I didn't sleep really that well. I watched a little bit of TV on Netflix, then decided I was too tired for a second episode, so I tried to sleep a little after midnight. Around 1:30am I was due for the next dose of nifedipine, and I had gotten up and unplugged myself from the contraction monitor around that time so I could use the bathroom. The nurses did the vital check and blood pressure stuff, so I was a little more awake than I would have liked to be at that time of the night. My blood pressure was close to the 90/60 cutoff (still low), but it was close enough that the nurses still gave it to me rather than waking me up in another half hour to try again.
After that, I slept until around 4, and, again, vitals checked, bathroom break, etc. Finally, I was able to sleep from about 4 until I noticed the sun come up, and I was dozing from then until around 7:45. Nurses came in again followed by Dr. Mayer. Contractions slowed to 2 an hour overnight on nifedipine, and I was still at 4cm (which, no cervical change was the real goal there). Dr. Mayer ordered an NST to check on the baby, and after breakfast, that was started. The NST went well...I think even better than 4 weeks earlier, and I could hear the accelerations in heartbeat from time to time.
It ended up to be perfect timing for Mike and the boys to show up to take me home. Armed with a nifedipine prescription (on an as-needed basis...due to my blood pressure being so wonky!), we got to go around 11am. The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, but I slept like a rock that night!
Moving on to today. My parents were set to come over today to drop off some food items that they're clearing out before the last part of the move. It's also Daniel's birthday on Tuesday, so I made a cake last night and finished decorating it this morning.
My parents came about 3:30 or so, and did the usual visiting stuff. There were probably a handful of times that I held back tears thinking of them being gone as of this coming Friday (just my mom mentioning certain things...I couldn't tell you what set me off). We did Daniel's birthday cake and presents and before I knew it, it was time to say our goodbyes to my parents.
I really...and I mean REALLY tried hard not to lose it, but of course I did. So there's my mom and I both sobbing...and just not being able to get words out (losing physical ability to talk! ahh!). In any case, I try to rationalize why I am having such a hard time with this, but I really can't. If I think about it too much, it makes me just start tearing up even more. I've been out of my parents house since I was 18 (give or take...spent one full summer at home with my parents in college, and visited on holidays and stuff), lived 2 hours away in a different city for several years and moved to a different state 1000 miles away for another 5 years before moving near them again. Even then, it wasn't like I was seeing them every day or every week (or even sometimes every month). And even with the possibility of us moving again to somewhere completely different is there...but THEM picking up and moving so far away has really gotten to me. My mom was reminiscing about dropping me off at college, and going through the same kind of thing.
In the end...I know we all travel well, and we'll be seeing them soon. It still just makes me wish that they weren't moving...at least not now.
So that rounds out the weekend! The kids sacked out pretty hard (Jared too, he who did not nap today!), and I'm ready for another week to begin!
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