Wow...I actually did an entry the next day after the previous one! I'm on a roll! If I do it again tomorrow, this might be the start of another trend (wishful thinking!).
So it's been a week since I was admitted to the hospital for a night, testing out new drugs to see if they stopped contractions for me. Luckily, it was only an overnight stay. Since bedrest in general began five weeks ago, tomorrow, there's been ups and downs and changes. Some major changes, some little.
Anyway, today officially marks the day that my parents moved out of state. Yep, boarded a plane, and flew 1200 miles away. I keep and kept telling myself that I wouldn't get worked up over it, but inevitably, anytime I think about it, or talk about it, it brings me to tears. I can blame the pregnancy hormones for that, right? In trying to rationalize what's going on in my head, I got the insight from my mom about how this feeling sort of works. Most of this is in a blog post from this past weekend.
So my parents moving away is sort of like how my mom felt when I moved away to college. It wasn't like I was going away forever or anything of that sort...but just that nagging feeling of what-if-I-need-that-person. I know I can easily pick up the phone and just call (although, they just have cell phones right now that are turned off 95% of the time...that might change though), but now is the time I wish I had the security of knowing that my parents would be there to take care of Daniel and Jared, should something happen and I go into labor at a weird time. That's what it boils down to right now. Having my parents take care of Daniel while I was in the hospital having Jared was one thing I didn't even stress about...I felt better that Mike could stay with me at the hospital, I felt better that Daniel was being taken care of and having fun and all of that stuff. If my parents hadn't moved until, say, September or October, I might be in a different state of mind.
Moving on to childcare...yeah...that's bothering me once again, even though I go back and forth with how I feel about all of the different scenarios. I grew to expect Mike to be with me at night in the hospital, and I keep telling myself that I'd be OK if he wasn't there overnight when the baby comes. But there really is not a good scenario where that is a possibility. I feel OK with it, in passing, because I've spent one night in the hospital alone already...but when the baby comes, it's a different scenario.
In any case, I'm finding that the "big" things that I'm stressing about are somehow interconnected, and it's hard not to dwell on one without dwelling on the others. As I've mentioned before, I like to have a plan...I like to have the security in place, knowing what to expect, what's going to happen, and everything like that. Even if, at this point, if I knew that I was going to have a baby a little early, at least I'd be able to prepare for that, just like I would prepare for a trip somewhere. Maybe the universe will send me a sign... :)
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